


I'm not gonna like, act on it or anything

by paladinofsappho



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Longing, Yearning, lesbians doing what they do best, unrequited feelings, which is falling for their best friends, while said best friend has no idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21562978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladinofsappho/pseuds/paladinofsappho
Summary: Jester confronts The Gentleman about the possibility of him being her father. It doesn't go as expected and Beau realizes something about herself - seeing Jester sad is the worst thing in the world. Watch as Beau falls even more for Jester than she already has, while no one notices.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	I'm not gonna like, act on it or anything

“About the fact that you’re my dad!” Jester exclaims at The Gentleman, unable to hold back her suspicions and desires to have her father in her life.

The Gentleman looks to Jester with a look of pity. “We’ve been through this,” He states, quickly dismissing her outburst like it never occurred.

Jester pushes her head forward in an attempt to make herself known in spite of his dismissal, but even though her will is strong his nonchalance at her statement stings and she can’t help the sadness that suddenly surrounds her. This isn’t how she thought this conversation would go. And she’s imagined it a million times before.

Beauregard watches timidly as her best friend sinks into herself, quietly letting the sadness envelope her and the tears she’s trying to hold back slide down her freckled cheeks. The hairs on Beau’s arms stand on end and she’s suddenly filled with the desire to run to Jester and wipe the tears from her face. Unfortunately, Beau knows that she can’t. No matter how much her instincts tell her she needs to.

Their conversation with The Gentleman continues, Beau speaking up when it’s necessary and eyeing Jester occasionally to see how she’s doing. The tears only get worse, despite Jester wiping them away every few minutes. Her need to comfort Jester grows too strong and she moves closer, hoping that her closeness is some kind of comfort. 

Once the opportunity presents itself Beau nudges Jester and even though she thought it was a horrible idea, if this plan works and gives Jester some type of answer to who her father is Beau wants her to have it. It’s easy for Beau to see how much Jester needs this. It’s easy for Beau to see herself in Jester’s need for her father.

While the shifting of Jester’s form to Marion’s seems to surprise The Gentleman it brings Jester no closer to knowing the truth and seems to only make her more frustrated and depressed at her lack of answers. 

Shortly after the conversation ends and the group makes its way out of The Gentleman’s office they stop briefly, Fjord going up to Jester and putting a hand on her shoulder. Beau hasn’t left Jester’s side and maybe it’s jealousy or her desire to comfort Jester now that they’ve left the room, but she finds herself leaning against Jester’s other side. Something to get Jester to feel that Beau is there too. That she always has been.

“I mean, if he is your dad, fuck him, right? Why do you want a relationship with someone who doesn’t want a relationship with you?” Beau offers, hoping to ease Jester’s pain. Beau isn’t good at this stuff, but for Jester she’d try just about anything. 

Jester nods, “That’s true.” Her voice breaks more with the words.

“You’re too good for him,” Beau continues, and she can’t help but feel the voice inside her head add, _and too good for me._

It’s almost inaudible, the “Yeah” that Jester manages out, but Beau hears her. 

Nott’s next questions only seem to upset Jester more and as her voice quivers Beau’s arms instinctually wrap around Jester from the side. After a moment she squeezes a little, hoping that the physical comfort can say what Beau can’t. 

It breaks Beau, to see Jester like that. The adorable, fun, blue freckled tiefling that makes her laugh endlessly, who’s ridiculous plans make her see the world in a different light, who’s complexity astounds her, seeing her sadness feels like a mortal wound to Beau. Maybe it’s this realization that drives her to confide in Nott about her crush on Jester. Beau doesn’t know. What Beau does know is that its been a long time since she’s felt this way about a woman, maybe the first time she’s _ever_ felt this way. And Beau doesn’t know what to do with it.

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i haven't written fanfic in over a year, please go easy on any grammatical or sentence structure errors. i thought i had retired from fanfic writing but beau's confession lit a fire within me and it cannot be snuffed out. if you like this you can find me at jesterlavorre-lionett.tumblr.com


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